The Baker. The Carpenter. The Tent maker.

There is a bakery chain near where we live and it is called Simmons, there are around 30 Simmons bakeries across our area. In short, they are lush and are so much more than a bakery. I confess now that I have eaten a large proportion of the bacon rolls they sell each year, and cakes, and coffee and cheese straws – you get the picture! It is also a great venue to meet up with friends and chat ministry while considering a new baked good to sample.

My reason for talking about Simmons, or bakeries in general, is that I am quite jealous of the baker. They no doubt get up at 4am, make the dough, roll the dough into smaller portions, bake them, bring them to the store and put them on the shelf proudly on display. During the day these lush rolls get sold until all that is left are a few crumbs on the desolate shelf. The baker must go to sleep at night fully content that they have done well, that their job has produced results and that they have indeed fed numerous people.

One of my ongoing wrestles in the youth and children’s ministry I lead is how rarely we get to see the fruit of our efforts. We know that as youth workers and kids workers we are seed planters and cultivators, we sow and we care for the young growth. Rarely we get to see fruit, rarely we are out in the field gathering the harvest. I think we are all ok with this as we know that God is at work and we are called to sow, aware that God will bring rain and sun and growth. We have to remind ourselves it isn’t about ‘us’ gathering the harvest but ensuring we have planted so that the harvest is there, for whoever God places at the time the fruit and crops are ripe, it may be us but it may not. We pray God will open ‘the storehouse of his bounty’ for us all.

“The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands.”

Deuteronomy 28:12

Over the last few months I have struggled with all of this and have at times felt like I wasn’t worth my salary because I, from a harvest point of view, felt that I wasn’t achieving anything. I have been blessed with great freedom to write for my ministry and also spend time taking leaders out for food and speaking encouragement and blessing into their lives. I have been able to lead a monthly gathering of young people as well as collaborating with a bunch of youth leaders about an area-wide ministry together. I know this is worthwhile but for whatever reason it wasn’t enough and I found myself struggling to see the bigger picture that God was weaving through my ministry.

Last week was a key time for me and it came from two interactions with two different people. I was sharing with my good friend Lizzy some of these struggles and God clearly prompted her to speak right into my soul. She shared that even though I might not think I am doing much by buying people coffee and breakfast and listening to their stories and wrestles, she said she would not be in ministry were it not for my time with her. Not only did this obviously bring me great encouragement but it helped me see that sometimes much of what we give out won’t have an impact that we will immediately see! We often say that youth and kids ministry is like an iceberg in that only a small amount of what we do is visible to everyone who looks on. Lizzy reminded me that under the surface God is using my ministry in powerful, life-giving ways. This will be true for all of us, if you feel discouraged I guarantee you that God is at work – the sub-surface part of the iceberg can be up to 10 times the size of the visible part. Hold firm, keep sowing, keep cultivating new growth, leave the rest up to God. If he calls you to reap a harvest, give thanks and share the joy.

The 2nd person that inspired me this week was a pastor friend Femi, who I shared my story with, and he also stopped me in my tracks with his wisdom. He shared that in these times of uncertainty, maybe where it looks like not much is going on, he wanted me to hear this – “it is at this time we should be planting seeds. No matter what, plant seeds, if you don’t know what to do ‘plant seeds’, if you are waiting ‘plant seeds’, if you are frustrated by the absence of visible harvest, ‘plant seeds’. Even though Lizzy and Femi have never met, God had clearly prompted both of them to speak into my life, to bring encouragement and to give me vision of where God might be leading me in this next season.

I wonder whether there is something very human about our need to feel valued, to have a purpose, to feel like our energies have achieved something? Maybe in this time I need to absolutely trust God and know that he is using my ministry, but maybe I also need to help myself by finding something tangibly practical to do with my energy. Could this be why Jesus was a carpenter, and Paul was a tent maker, maybe they also needed to see something from their ‘labour’ to keep them going when the harvest was less visible? Maybe when people were frustrating Jesus he could wander past houses and see furniture that he had a hand in making. I’d never want to call Lizzy a piece of furniture but maybe dotted around there is evidence of the fruit of my ministry that will sustain me while I am in this liminal space season.

Yes the baker may see his bread get sold, but I need to remind myself the work we do is eternal, is about feeding the soul, finding the lost and bringing full life and a deeper wholeness to people; and maybe we won’t always get to see this happen, but it DOES happen!

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:10-11 NIV