The Leadership of Harry and Jude

I didn’t watch the World Cup this time, partly because I wasn’t massively interested but also I was responding to Open Doors Youth and their challenge to boycott watching the games due to Qatar’s human rights abuse and the persecuted church there. I wanted to stand with people and take time to pray during each World Cup game.

But my reason for writing today is actually regarding the England Captain, Harry Kane, and the England midfielder, Jude Bellingham. As I watched the news wolves gather around the England team on Saturday evening, I noticed a lot of interest in how Jude Bellingham behaved at the end of the England game, so I decided to take a look, watch some replays and consider just how powerful the example of these two men was. I wonder what went through Harrys mind as he stepped forward to take that second penalty? Did he wish someone else could be in his shoes, or did he, as I suspect, know that historically the damage the media does to those who miss a penalty for England. I don’t believe Harry took the penalty for the glory of winning, I think he took it so someone else did not have to. Yes the younger player may have scored but time has shown that should a young player have missed, the onslaught from people can be devastating. Harry made a tough call, but for me it showed not only his strength but also his significant ability to lead, protect those in his care and allow them, through his experiences, to grow stronger so that when they find themselves in a similar situation they will be able to stand firm from any onslaught.

How do we create these learning environments where we allow young people to grow while at the same time being leaders ourselves who wisely judge just what could happen in any situation? How do we build tenacity and resilience in our younger leaders without wrapping them in cotton wool and avoiding challenging situations. We do it by modelling it in our own lives. We do it by ensuring that as we lead we ‘see’ people, take time to ‘know’ people and prioritise relationship over everything else. When we are seen by someone, with all our own imperfections, and that person stays and says “I am on your side”, then anything is possible.

The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. B. Bullard

Jude Bellingham, 19, must have had some seriously high quality leaderships examples in his life; a coach, a parent, an older sibling, maybe even a youth leader! He had people who spent time getting to know him and value him as a person, not just a skilful footballer, and in doing so created a powerful, empathetic young leader. Leadership isn’t learnt, it is modelled, then observed, reflected and imitated. Harry Kane modelled sacrificial and strong leadership.

Jude said: “As the leader of the team – which he (Harry) is with the media, on the pitch and off the pitch – I felt it was important that I just kept him in the game mentally. For me, I can’t thank him enough for how much he’s integrated me into the team.”

Jude Bellingham observed and knew what he had to do. I’m so encouraged to see this ‘young person’ have the confidence and will to speak into the lives of someone older, may we all release this heart and grace in our young people. Both these professionals set such a beautiful example. I do not think it was a coincidence either that Gareth Southgate, who knows the pain of missing a penalty, leads with such integrity and care for the individual as well as the team.

As a leader within youth ministry what am I modelling? What are young people observing in me and then maybe imitating (that may be a scary thought!) Our role as leaders and mentors is to talk about life but more powerfully than that, is our ability to influence young people and other leaders by the way we lead, how we react to adversity and how we treat those under our care.

It is likely that no young person will remember any of the talks I have given, no matter how good I think they are. What they will remember, because it may shape their own behaviour, is how I treated them. How did I value them? How did I stand by them even when they “missed a penalty”? My leadership ‘style’ should be oriented around lifting people up, building people up showing people grace and love. As I look at how Jesus treated his disciples I see not only deep love for them and grace-filled teaching, but also an hunger for them to improve and be prepared for all that was to come. Jesus was always willing to ‘go first’, Jesus never ‘told’ people something, he illustrated it or demonstrated it with his own example. Then Jesus said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”

Harry Kane could’ve easily blamed someone else for the miss, he could have avoided the situation and allowed a younger more fragile player to ‘take the fall’. Instead he ‘went first’ and, even in defeat, showed such strength and an example of leadership which will have a lasting effect on the team and young footballers watching on. May we look to the likes of Harry and Jude for our leadership examples and may we emulate them in our youth ministry leading, in our mentoring with young people, in our training of volunteers, and dare I say, in the way we lead our churches!

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” ― Albert Schweitzer