Playing to win!

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything, than when we are at play.” ― Charles Schaefer

A couple of weeks ago I ran a residential trip with a bunch of 7-10 year olds, and before you ask, yes maybe I’m a little nuts but I love my the ministry God has given me and it is truly life-giving in so many ways. But this time I witnessed something I hadn’t really noticed so clearly before, maybe I was paying more attention this time or maybe the group that was gathered embraced this simple time away with a new, childlike joy. What I saw was play and joy and laughter in a fuller, more contagious way. Throughout the weekend kids were hungry to play, and to play with kids that they may have been meeting for the first time on this weekend – kids teach us so much about the importance of accepting people immediately and just welcoming them! We had kids that were coming as the only kid in their church, to come away with a bunch of people you don’t know very well is courageous indeed.

Maybe it was God’s generosity, maybe it was because we love running these trips, maybe kids were in need of this sort of joyful, simple community, maybe it was a beautiful concoction of all of these elements, whatever the cause, it was a time of radiant, addictive joy.

I received a text just after the weekend away, these are the exact words my friend Hannah used: “Thank you for giving my daughter a fantastic weekend away. She started sobbing as soon as we left, so disappointed the weekend was over already, said it had gone much too quickly. But also crying that she had made such good friends and she was sad to leave them. She came home, ran upstairs saying she needed ‘alone time’, and then came down with a piece of paper on which she had written the names of everyone she’d made friends with on the weekend to make sure she didn’t forget them!”

This is why we do what we do! Every single one of us need friendship, to call someone a friend, and to be called a friend is central to a full life. When did we start making the service, the group, the program, more important than the friendship!

For many of us we will only listen to someone who we have built a relationship with, if we want to share the story of God with kids then we need to build relationships. One of the greatest, and most fun, way to build relationships, is to play. The games we play are incredibly simple, they just allow us a space to play together. It’s crazy to think that some of the most fun we had was with cups, bean bags, bouncy balls and paper plates. Simple, silly, mildly competitive games that draw us all together into the same place on the same level. Kids that maybe never thought they could ‘win’ at a game were playing and succeeding and are then overcome with such a sense of achievement, celebration, wonder and joy. It’s worth noticing as well that we didn’t need a phone, a tablet or a games console to play! 🙂

Surely this reminds us of the need to create spaces of connection; to connect with one another but also with God. These environments cannot be forced, we almost have to lay out a loose foundation, a safe space, an exciting bunch of activities, passionate and relational leaders, and then allow God to have His way. I have been involved in running residentials for almost 30 years and deep community is what we have always strived for. But at this current time, with so much damage from the pandemic, so many lost relationships, we know community is more essential than ever.

If my recent weekend has taught me anything it is that times of play and joy will allow the story of God to be communicated with greater ease. Let us begin there and trust that God is big enough and creative enough to speak through what ever content we bring.

If you read what psychologists say about play they mostly all agree that play improves relationships and connection, builds empathy, trust and compassion, play dissolves stressful situations, helps individuals make new friends and breaks the ice with strangers. So why wouldn’t we, within our kids ministry, want to prioritise play knowing the benefits it brings to relationships, openness and understanding of one another. As kids leaders we also have the privilege and unique opportunity of seeing the world from a child’s vantage point as they navigate the joys and challenges of life. To build a relationship that is shaped to include a generous amount of time in play will enable a deeper connection and stronger relationship, while at the same time allowing permission to walk alongside the child and be there for them. The openness and joy that is created when these spaces exist make it so much easier to then have conversations about the God that loves relationship and is eager to build one with each of us, and dare I say, introduce them to the God that loves and encourages our ‘childlikeness’!

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” Maybe the church is ‘growing old’ because we have stopped playing, or at the very least it is because we have stopped creating spaces where we can play. My hope in this next season is to encourage us all to play, to make time to listen to children and enter their world, and for each of us to aspire to be a little more childlike!