No longer alone!

As 267 looks towards a more ‘open’ season of ministry I have been reflecting on the importance of creating community and establishing real, relevant, joy-filled spaces where people can gather, heal, receive and grow.

“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” – Kurt Vonnegut

I believe that God has called 267 to be able to offer community and connection that will counteract the isolation and loneliness many have experienced over the last year. We need to place young people at the centre of this community, not just so that they benefit themselves, but more importantly for what they can bring to those around them. I’ve seen how young people do friendship; no they are not perfect, but they love their friends deeply, they make time for them, they check in on them when they are down, they fight for them when there is opposition and they embrace the simplicity of just being together. These behaviours are central to a great community, but more than that, people are able to heal when they dwell in this type of community, a community where they are welcomed, loved, valued, included and protected.

“We don’t heal in isolation, but in community.” S. Kelley Harrell

One of my best friends Tori, who spent time in Spain doing youthwork, shared with me a great Spanish tradition; sobremesa! The words doesn’t really translate into a single English word but more of a event. The tradition of sobermesa involves spending time relaxing after a meal to drink coffee and chat. The ritual came about because of the heavy Spanish lunch, often made up of a first course, second course and dessert (I need to move to Spain)! The idea of sitting around sharing stories, listening to the joys, adventures and burdens of one another’s lives is a deeply beneficial act for a community. I believe it is something we have lost from our families and communities. I know, for various reasons, that sitting around the table for a meal happens less, which leaves me wondering where are the spaces where we can have unhurried times of re-connection and relational restoration? I find the idea of sobremesa hugely exciting, not least because having a meal together is a joy, but also it enables time and space where people can be real and build relationship without hurrying onto the next thing.

There is another great word I’ve discovered; Koinonia! Koinonia is a Greek word found in various places in the New Testament. Like many Greek words it doesn’t easily translate into one English word, and sometimes when we try and do that we miss the point! Koinonia is a ‘dynamic relationship’, it involves deep participation in the Christian community, sharing, generosity, honesty and celebrating what we have in common; Jesus! But the idea of koinonia isn’t just something for Christians to embrace, what if all our communities were to seek a way of doing life that prioritised generosity, sharing and investing in the lives of one another in a deeper way.

One of the highlights of my youthwork ministry has been the times we have taken young people away. These times are full of both abundant ‘koinonia’ and ‘sobremesa’. This community-attitude creates spaces and gatherings where young people and leaders alike find it easier to deepen friendships and express feelings. Young people always lead the way in this, their ability to celebrate community continues to blow my mind and I constantly seek to follow their example.

Throughout the entire last 12 months we have all, in some way, experienced fractured community and relationships. We have felt isolation and we may have experienced loneliness on various levels. The solution is to come together, the solution is embrace what connects us rather that what divides us. I have loved hearing stories of neighbours who prior to March 2020 didn’t even know one another’s names, now meet up and chat regularly. What we have come to realise through this paralysing event which has affected the entire planet, is that we need one another! Rather than spending time pursuing my own agenda I now need to look to those close by and ask how can I serve and love them?

So, as we navigate 2021, carrying the scars of the last year but also the hope of the coming year, my prayer is that we will do all we can to provide a koinonia-like, sobremesa-like community that people would find easy to join but, after experiencing its joy and life, will then choose never to leave! (without wanting it to sound like cult!!)